Batterie Oneshots
by TAB-flavored-faygo
Summary: Exactly what the name implies. Just a collection of my own batterie oneshots. A dash of angst here, a dab of fluff there, along with some this and that, and you get this fic. Hope you like. owo
1. PSA

Helloooooo, all. I have decided to make something on here entirely for oneshots. And, for what ship, you ask?

[drumroll]

BATTERIE!

[loud clapping and soft "i will always love you - jontron edition" playing in the background]

So, there might be nsfw? I'm not sure, but whatever, if there is, i'll make a chapter about it, or make it in a different fic and rate it M. Anyways, aside from that, it's just the usual stuff, if you don't like Batterie why did you click on this, don't flame unless you really think it's necessary, please review if you liked it/if you didn't like it/if you just read this at random, blahblahblaaah, all that jazz. owo Muchos gracias, mi amigas/amigos.

throws confetti and a large cake directly at you

MERRY BIRTHDAY IT'S BATTERIE


	2. Contact

Batter wasn't used to contact. Not, _physical _contact, at least. He couldn't really remember the last time someone had even placed their hand on him, to be honest. Not that he minded, of course. It was, simply put, that he couldn't recall what it felt like. Was it warm? Was it hard? Did it hurt, then? He couldn't tell, and he was alright with that. Though, the curiosity remained. Was it at least...

Nice?

He rested his own hand against his arm, trying to visualize it. No, wait, would it feel different if someone else did it? Maybe, if he could just find someone else to-

"Hola, amigo!"

Well, there goes that possibility. Snapping out of his thoughts and looking around, he realized that he must've been subconsciously walking to the merchant's shop during his thinking, as was now standing in the doorway. He let out a breath, looking across the room to face that damn mask. "Hey, Zach." He placed his bat inside the doorframe, and walked over to the counter. _Let me guess, he's gonna try to sell me something "new", or "his latest stock", right?,_ Batter thought.

"Batter, you simply _have _to see the new items I have in stock!" He bent down below his counter, a few odd sounds emitted from underneath. _W__as that a chicken? What the hell's the guy keepin' under there? _Coming back up with his arms full of things that looked a bit like books, utensils, and a possible dress, he set the items down on the counter and added a "simply look through these, I'm sure you'll find something!".

The thing was, Batter wasn't paying attention. In fact, he had been staring off at space this entire time, the thoughts still clouding his mind. He only looked up after a moment when he realized that Zacharie was staring at him. "What's wrong? 'S there somethin' on my face?"

"No, you just...seem a bit off. Is something troubling you, friend?" _No way. Ho-ho-ho, no way in **hell** am I letting this guy know what's on my mind. He's already annoying enough as it is, just think about how bad it'll be if I start letting him know about my own personal shit. Then again...who else am I gonna ask?_

Zacharie waved his hand in front of Batter's face, eliciting a few blinks. "You're doing it again. What's wrong?" He propped his arms up on the counter, his hands going behind his mask to rest his head on. "Well..." He glanced back at the doorway, making sure that no one else was listening, and took a breath, turning back. "What's it feel like when someone else puts their hand on ya, or does somethin' like that?"

He seemed confused for a moment, tilting his head a bit. "Are you asking what physical contact is?" _God, this sounds so stupid. _"Yeah, I think." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, knowing that this wasn't really the type of question you could just casually ask someone. And now Zach was just staring up at him, as though he didn't know exactly how to respond to this. "Y'know what, this is really a stupid thing t' ask you, I think I'm just gonna go." He turned around, going to grab for his bat. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, why did I think that he was gonna help at all? And now he probably thinks that I'm some weirdo who never has physical contact with anyone. Well, I mean, I guess that's kind of true, but still._

"Wait!"

He huffed, annoyed by this point. He was probably going to say something like "This item will help you with your problems!" or "All physical contact issues, gone!" He turned around, his hat pulled down over his eyes. "Look, just leave me alone, okay? Sorry for askin' in the first place." He lifted the rim up a bit to look over at the guy, who was now in front of his counter. "Don't be sorry, it's perfectly fine to ask such a thing!" He walked over, now standing a few feet away from the other.

"Don't bullshit me, I know it's not." "I'd never do that to a customer! They always get the truth, guaranteed." There was a sort of silence that resembled a wall between them, only broken by a voice speaking up.

"You know, I think I can tell you how it feels."

Batter almost felt himself jump. "Really?" _God, just fucking listen to me. I really do sound like some sort of person who never leaves their house. _He nodded, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Well...I suppose it is kind of pleasant, though it hurts if the other person does something like slap you. It becomes a bit of a normality after a while, I think. You start to not notice it. "He pulled at his sleeves, shuffling a bit.

"In fact...I think I could help you." "How so?" The taller figure became a bit skeptical. _Oh man, what's he gonna do? Probably feel up my face, or somethin'. If he tries anything like that, I am __**outta**__ here. _To his surprise, Zacharie simply took a few steps over.

"May I?" He asked, gesturing to Batter's hand._ I can already tell this is bad. _He swallowed, lifting his hand up to him. "I guess not. Just don't do anythin' weird, okay? This is already weird enough as it is." "Of course, amigo. I would never." Zacharie pushed his sleeve down to the elbow, then taking Batter's hand and doing the last thing he expected: He began lightly tracing over his palm.

The entirety of the action was odd, but...somehow calming. It was a new feeling to Batter, and he wanted to savor every second of it. The warmth of Zacharie's hand, the smoothness of his skin, the sensation of someone else's presence against his...It was all very strange. Not bad, just strange. Like when you get a gift from someone, and it's a decent gift, but it's so deep and intricate and personal, you're not sure how to respond.

And he supposed that was exactly what Zacharie was doing, now that he thought about it. He looked up from his hand, letting go of it. "Did that help at all?" "Yeah, actually." _That was surprisingly nice of the guy. And he hasn't even tried to sell me anythin' so far. _"So, uh..." He awkwardly wrapped his arms around the merchant, not exactly knowing how to do this.

"Thanks, Zach."

"It was nothing, amigo. The least I could do."

He pulled away, going over to the door and picking up his bat. "Sorry I didn't buy anythin'. I'll be back tomorrow, though." After making sure he was gone, Zacharie felt his face warm up behind his mask.

This was the first time Batter had ever mentioned coming back to his shop.


End file.
